I wish this girl I've been doing stuff with was hotter.  I feel bad for wishing that.  I know it shouldn't matter.  I should be able to accept her solely on the basis of her character and personality.  But I wish she was better looking.  I think I would feel a lot more confident about going out places with her or introducing ehr to my family and friends.  And I would enjoy looking at her and fooling around with her more.  And stalking her facebook page more.  I would feel more lucky to be with her.  Instead, I feel like I'm settling.  I feel like I'm not attractive enough or charismatic enough to get a really good looking girl.  I feel like I could better, and I'm just fucking her because she's available, not because she's special.  I feel like she just likes me becaue she can't get anyone better, not because of how awesome I really am.  Only girls who are below-average attractiveness tell me that I'm good looking and sexy and flirt with me.  Even though she's cute in her own way, and I enjoy sleeping with her, I feel like she's not cute in the right way.  I feel bad for feeling all of these things.  I know it's not right to ask for, but just once, I'd like to hook up with a really a hot girl.  A perfect 10, someone who is way out of my league.  And I wish it was her, because I already like her personality.  I don't know what to do.  I hate the idea that I'm shallow, even though I know it's probably true.

That was way more rambling than I wanted.  You get the point though.  I feel bad about feeling bad about how she looks.